


Smile Till It Shines

by LiterallyLen



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-14 02:25:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18043691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiterallyLen/pseuds/LiterallyLen
Summary: No matter how positive he is that she’s his soulmate, that Mary Jane is the woman he’s meant to spend his forever with, Peter can’t help but wonder if there’s other worlds where she ended up happy. Married to some charismatic billionaire who couldn’t help but show her off to the public and adore her in all the right ways. A world where she didn’t fall head over heals for the boy genius who only could smile, abashed, at her fiery passion and lust for life. A boy who loved her more than all the galaxies and stars combined, but who couldn’t give himself wholly to her because he had a duty for the innocent, the people on this earth who were threatened by the most depraved amongst them.Peter wonders until it hurts too much to do so.





	Smile Till It Shines

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: Mention of a Still birth

She’s everything bright effervescence and cotton candy charm. Her words glimmer and smile dazzles. Peter remembers being struck by her beauty, and then dumbfounded by the way her words skirted on the right side of salacious.

Mary Jane Watson had always emulated this old Hollywood charm about her, had resembled the old Vaudeville beauties from a time before the speakies, where it only took the slightest curve of her mouth and sheen to her eyes to make people mesmerized and astounded and breath taken by her mere presence. Peter was no different. To this day he could hardly believe that the sharp tongued, anxious moving nerd got a girl like her to even spare him a date, one that miraculously spun out to dozens more and eventually a marriage (subsequent two failed proposals). 

Peter knows that she’s always been out of his reach, that Mary Jane Watson is the brightest star of them all. And sometimes he wishes she had realized as much before ever giving him a chance in the first place. Maybe she would’ve been spared so much of the heartache… No, she definitely would’ve. And that kills Peter like nothing else, that the most pain and suffering he’s ever brought someone was directed to the girl of his dreams. The woman he loved and cherished and held up higher than any other.

Mary Jane would’ve been happier if she hadn’t ever met Peter, that’s just a fact. 

 

***

 

Their apartment is quiet, Peter notices as he slinks through the window as inconspicuously as possible. He pulls off his mask and shakes his head to get some breath, cards a hand through his hair. 

Still as quietly as he can manage, Peter treads soft footsteps to their kitchen, is taken aback when he sees that she’s already there. Usually immaculately straightened hair tumbles down her shoulders in loose curls, and there’s some smudged mascara on the corners of her striking eyes. She looks a wreck, but all together beautiful.

Mary Jane’s always been beautiful.

“Oh hey,” he stutters out, cheeks flushed as if they were teens again at the start of their budding romance. 

Her eyes lazily scan over him, a habit she’s developed for whenever he’s finished with being spider-man. 

“You’re back,” she intones, finishes twisting the cap to the cranberry juice carton. 

“It was just a bank robbery,” Peter says, almost desperate for her approval.

Mary Jane doesn’t give it, just nods imperceptibly and takes a swig of her tumbler, hand flying to her flat stomach, as if she were still feeling for the child she had to birth as a dead fetus. 

“You could’ve called,” she tells him when she’s finished, still doesn’t look into his eyes, and it hurts like hell. It’s been like this for months, with her words that aren’t cold, but also lacking their distinct sort of soft warmth and playful buoyancy. With her touching him with ginger caresses but never going further— ensuring that he’s still whole and still there, but not able to let herself have him. 

Peter knows that he deserves this, that he’s deserved this for so long but it was the death of their little girl— their mini May— that spurred Mary Jane onto realizing it too. But still, it kills him that he can’t hold his wife and kiss her and start to mend right along with her. Sure, that might be selfish, and pinheaded and a downright idiotic thought to have, but it’s there. 

“I know, I’m sorry. It just happened so fast and—“

“You couldn’t get to your phone and the costume at the same time,” she finishes, almost blithe with her impatience. 

Peter nods, entirely helpless. 

No matter how positive he is that she’s his soulmate, that Mary Jane is the woman he’s meant to spend his forever with, Peter can’t help but wonder if there’s other worlds where she ended up happy. Married to some charismatic billionaire who couldn’t help but show her off to the public and adore her in all the right ways. A world where she didn’t fall head over heals for the boy genius who only could smile, abashed, at her fiery passion and lust for life. A boy who loved her more than all the galaxies and stars combined, but who couldn’t give himself wholly to her because he had a duty for the innocent, the people on this earth who were threatened by the most depraved amongst them.

Peter wonders until it hurts too much to do so. 

“I’ve got an early shoot tomorrow morning,” she tells Peter, pads up to him and cups her hands around his face, thumbing the apples of his cheeks. He pretends he doesn’t notice how glassy her eyes are. 

“I love you,” Peter tells her, puts a hand on her abdomen where hers was, where their child was once growing. 

“I know Tiger,” she breathes out, small, sad smile on her lips and the glint in her eyes distinguished for at least the night. 

He presses his forehead against her own, lets himself be lead into their bed. Undresses her with slow reverence and let’s her do the same to him. 

They do nothing more than that, but she let’s him be wrapped up into her, Mary Jane’s head propped up on his shoulder, and Peter’s arms bound around her small form. 

It doesn’t feel whole, but it feels like they’re getting closer.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so so much for reading!!   
> I've loved these two for so so long and it would mean the world and stars to me if you let me know what you thought!!   
> All My Love  
> ~Len


End file.
